my cousin accidently texted me instead of his wife

  • cousin: guess who's got two thumbs, a dick, and wants to rub himself against you like a tom cat in heat? THIS GUY. [nude picture of said cousin pointing at himself with both thumbs and an erection]
  • cousin: oh fuck oh fuck
  • cousin: broomy oh fuck no don't look shut your eyes
  • me: I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY
  • me: OUR LOVE IS FORBIDDEN BUT STRONG
  • cousin: no please don't
  • me: COME, MY WILD AND YOWLING TOM CAT. COME AND TAKE ME FOR I AM YOURS FOREVER.
  • cousin: I hate you.

My advice will be stop taking so many selfies. I have seen a lot of selfies lately. I think they’re getting a little out of control.